Kicking the Habit
by CalloftheHaunted
Summary: When I am away I crave him badly which is why my body aches, which is why I go through ‘withdrawal’ from him. And when I come back he is the hit I needed. He is my drug.


Here's some more short Bakura/Ryou fluffy type stuff for you, I'm full of affection at the moment, but I do have some humour on the way too so watch out for that.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! It belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. I do not make a profit from this story ¬_¬

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Kicking the Habit

I never knew what it was, and that got to me. I didn't understand why it should happen. I even asked the Pharaoh but he didn't understand what I meant, he'd never been away from his light for longer than an hour, especially not after the Orichalcos incident. Pathetic, you can't stay around the same person constantly no matter how much you love them, it's unhealthy. I went as far as to ask Marik, but he didn't understand either, too focused on being a parasite to his light one even though they are separate now. That left just me to try and figure it out.

I experimented, I went away for days on end, I went as far as I could. I learned fast that the further I went, the worse it was and the quicker I went down, but if I stayed relatively close I could go for a longer amount of time without feeling anything. But it would creep into my bones eventually.

It would start feeling like I had caught I had caught a cold or the flu if I was far away; same symptoms just stronger. I would feel shivery, just a slight tremble every now and again, gradually becoming full shaking to the point where I couldn't hold things properly anymore, and I would feel cold but my skin would be warm.

My chest would tighten a fraction, getting harder to breathe; it would make me choke on air. My skin would itch- no, it was _under _my skin. Where the veins were close to the surface, my wrists, my inner elbows, my throat; it was agonising at times. I bled more than once from scratching so hard that I broke the skin. I would lose weight, regardless of how I ate. I would lose colour. I never had much to begin with but I would be noticeably paler when I came home.

I would feel like I was dying slowly from the inside out.

At first I wasn't sure what caused it, all I would know is that the second I walked through that door and my light one would come and see me standing there feeling like death, the second his hand touched mine to lead me into the warmth of the apartment and to the sofa, I would feel better.

No I would feel amazing. Warmth would spread through me, I could breath again and I felt no pain. I would sit in this high watching him flit about, bringing me hot drinks and saying things like, "You look ill" and "I thought you weren't coming back this time, where have you been?"

I wouldn't be able to speak, just smile vaguely while the euphoric sensations ran through me. It felt like really, really good sex. The best you have ever had. Sometimes, if I had stayed away for a long time, or I had gone far, coming back felt so good I would sit on the sofa and have no idea what was going on, my mind would be racing my heart, trying to see which would explode first. I would be blind, all was white and I would be breathing so hard it was almost as painful as when I couldn't breathe.

I realised that it was him that did this to me. It was Ryou that made my body struggle to cope when I was away from him, and then almost break down with pleasure when I was with him again.

Why though?

I never outwardly showed affection for him, I was cruel to him but never physically, I would scare him, mock him, and abuse him with my words but never anything else. But he _wanted_ me around. I'm fairly certain that if he didn't, I would be able to stay away, but I can't my body needs him, it craves him. We've never slept together like I know the Pharaoh and his light have; I don't think we ever will. We're not open enough for that. _I'm_ not open enough for that. But I like to be close to him at times, it makes me feel good. When I am away I crave him badly which is why my body aches, which is why I go through 'withdrawal' from him. And when I come back he is the hit I needed. He is my drug. I think there must be something subconscious on my part that I want to be around him as much as he wants me around, but I blame him. Now when I go away, I have to come back at regular intervals. I will stand by his bed when he sleeps, I will lie with him until I am ready, until I am safe.

I never stay away from him for long. It hurts me too much.

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There. That was weird really. But I like it. I think


End file.
